It's 15/F's Birthday!!! Smooth ass motherfucker. I puked all over his car, he doesn't care and forgets that i ever did it..he thinks it was Marie. Last year on my birthday we sat and drank wine in the park. Keith has one glass and was like yo stunner did you put pcp in my wine, im so fucked up!!!! Wasn't Keith the one to pay our bill that we skipped out on with a huge crew years ago? yeah he was. i just found that out the other day. Also this guy is the best person to crank call when you're hallucinating. I love Keith because he's that dude who's so mellow but so ridiculously awesome.End of the night at a party:
(Keith looking real bent)
keith: hey stunner!!!
me: yo keith do u need a ride home man im taking jp home anyway.
keith: i have my car outside, hey do you know who i came here with?
me: um no, this is the first im seeing you all night but come with us we'll help you.
keith: ok
so we walk outside to wear marie is laying on the ground making these loud "AYE YAYE YAYE YAYE" noises so we get her a ride home and me and jp aredriving Keith around to find his car.
Keith: i def parked on cobblestones. Are you sure you don't rememeber who i came here with?!?!
Me: No but Keith this is the only cobblestones around and I don't see your car
(so we drive around for about 15 minutes)
Keith: Curve i came with Curve!!!
Me: How about i just take you home and you'll find your car in the morning you shouldnt drive. so i drop keith off and hear from him after that his car was parked outside of his house, he never drove anywhere. hahahahha keith i love you happy birthday!!!!!
xo stunner.
aka: denise huxtable (deluxe burger)
hb keith! keith used to knock on the window at retrospect when i was working. he'd be walking by, going to get beer at philadeli.
PërgjigjuFshijeme and keith date back to pittsburgh and the crazy house. back then fools called me sonic and to this day he's the only fool who still does.
PërgjigjuFshijekeith, we never spent much time together, but i'm sure we could of lost many things together. happy birthday!
PërgjigjuFshijei just told him about you wifey. youd love keith...hes smooth and awesome and forgets when theres puke on his window.
PërgjigjuFshijealso do you love how pj is wearing a larry brown mask instead of his own face. yeah thats what happens when you fuck with me!
PërgjigjuFshije-d.hux
Jim: i liked reading the thing about keith's bday
PërgjigjuFshije11:43 AM me: that was denise
i think
Jim: yeah i know
me: oh okay
i don't really know him
Jim: i don't know who denise is really
say what??
what do you mean you don't know keith
me: i've met him, i'm told
but...
Jim: wait was this about a diff keith?
11:44 AM not keith argue?
me: not keith argue, no
different one
Jim: oh well then fuck that keith
i don't know him
me: yeah i know!
Jim: hahahaa
me: that was my thought
Jim: i just assumed because it was a story about "keith and jp"
11:45 AM me: that's what i said
i ignored the picture that was obviously not of handsome
11:46 AM Jim: hahah i didn't know what that picture was abt
me: and thought jp handsome
Jim: man i'm glad i didn't write him to say happy birthday
or actually maybe i should anyway
11:47 AM me: i did
just write happy birthday, keith argue
Jim: hahaha
11:48 AM that would be kinda fun if we got a bunch of ppl to wish him happy birthday today
me: i just popped you out, son
that would be good. let's do it.
Jim: haha
me: i'll text him later
Jim: ok me too
that reminds me
11:49 AM yesterday i was walking home
and these three teenage girls see me coming
and they're all HEY IT'S CHARLIE, HI CHARLIE!!!!
me: and they fainted?
haha
Jim: hahahah no that's what usually goes down though
me: i know!
the teenage girl in me faints every time you enter a room
Jim: so i'm like "sorry, i'm not charlie"
hahaha shut up
how do you fit a teenage girl in you anyway
is she anorexic?
11:50 AM me: like russian dolls
Jim: well i hope she's not a cutter
me: totally and bulemic too
however you spell that
Jim: booleeemick
i think
haha
me: cuz i'm a jerk
i spell that j-e-r-q-u-e
Jim: conincidence!
me: -courtesy of jonathan richman
Jim: i'm a jerque auf
11:51 AM haha
me: nice!
bravo
Jim: so anyway they are like "whatever charlie, are you still going to ___some school__"
me: wow
Jim: and i'm like NO MY NAME IS JIIIM
and they're like why did you cut your hair so flat?
me: whatever, charlie i saw you in homeroom today
Jim: and i got wigged out and peaced
hahah
me: and you were wearing the same outfit
11:52 AM that's oddd
Jim: i thought it could be some twilight zone shit
and that someone else was going to call me charlie
me: oh, charlie come off this jim fantasy
Jim: hahahah
BUT JIM IS SO MUCH COOLER
me: you can be jim in ten years when you're out of high school
Jim: i can't have nothin nice
::kicks dirt::
me: and have that librarian job you always wanted
11:53 AM Jim: will i get to marry a lesbian too? it's always been my dream
me: yes, charlie, sure when you're older you can marry a lesbian.
but none of that kinky shit is gonna go down
you're a nice boy charlie A NICE BOY
11:55 AM Jim: aw shucks
me: teenage jim/charlie is from the fifties?
jeez this is like the twilight zone
Jim: yes exactly
me: jeez
geez
?
Jim: sit on it
i use jeez and geez
um so. i just wrote handsome "happy birthday" and he said 'tanks lady'. so um maybe his birthday is today too? i'm so confused about our joke now.
PërgjigjuFshijethe funny thing is that its Keith Handsome's B-day too today! He shares the same seed-day and he has acid reflux just like me. thanks for the b-day wishes errrbody!
PërgjigjuFshijehahahaha! i fucking love today and i haven't even left the couch! -dr honey
PërgjigjuFshijeoh, keiths. you're the bests.
PërgjigjuFshijelove,
allison
alli you shouldnt ever have to leave your throne. make king bare ass do the chores and work the job.
PërgjigjuFshijed.hux
aka
stunner
he does do all the chores! i've washed the dishes like four times since we moved to cali! he cooks, he cleans, he's wonderful! right now he's on a little mission to get us smokes and vietnamese sandwiches! i loves my baby king bareass!
PërgjigjuFshije-a.d.