e mërkurë, 14 maj 2008

My Sexy Future as a BWM



We all have (i think) thrilling visions of our future selves. Mine usually involves me sitting on the porch of my sometimes cabin sometimes farmhouse with a shotgun.

But lately i have a new fantasy.

I am sitting at a writing desk, reading glasses cozily astride my sizable nose, examining documents, and crunching numbers on a calculator. I'm paying my bills and managing my accounts. I'm hot for my Roth, so i give it a taste, even though i know i should be focusing on my workaday savings account. I'm on top of that FICO score, and riding it. Is there anything sexier than being your own accounts manager? oh, the power. oh, the glory.


i had this delivered the other day:


i highly recommend it. sure, it has the word fabulous in it, and this is a little off-putting (reading aloud to kevin i censored the fabulous part every time it reared its head, and opted to vocalize only the young&broke part), and the woman on the cover looks like she owns a craft store, but it's the key to my new fantasy of the future.

while i realize i would have made fun of me for getting my finances in order a few years ago, i now find money management an irresistible avenue for self-exploration.

now i just have to get and hold down a job.
or maybe i don't.
sigh.
oh, suze.

-dr. honey

e hënë, 12 maj 2008

DMX: History of arrests






* In 1999, during a blockbuster 'Hard Knock Life' tour stop in Denver, a warrant for his arrest was issued in connection with an unpaid parking fine and lampooning of a man that attended one of the concerts, of which Simmons was later cleared; another incident occurred in May, when he was accused of assaulting a Yonkers man who had allegedly harassed his wife and stabbed her in the neck (the charges were once again dropped). More serious charges were brought that summer when Earl's uncle/manager was accidentally shot in the neck at a New Jersey hotel. Police later raided Earl's home and filed animal cruelty, weapons, and drug possession charges against the rapper and his wife; he eventually plea-bargained down to fines, probation, and community service.
* On July 10, 1999, he was arrested for using obscene language during a concert in Basingstoke.

* On October 11, 1999, he was arrested for flashing a mounted police officer while under the influence of drugs and alcohol. He was sentenced to 2 months in prison.

* In March 2000, he was arrested for aggravated unlicensed operation of a motor vehicle, speeding, failure to signal, driving without a license, failure to notify the DMV of an address change, and possession of marijuana, cocaine, ecstasy, and Percocet while driving on New York State Route 33 in Cheektowaga, New York, following a concert in Buffalo, New York. He was then scheduled to appear in Cheektowaga Town Court on March 21, but failed to appear, resulting in a warrant being issued for his arrest.[4] He later turned himself in, pleaded guilty to a reduced charge of driving without a license and was sentenced to 15 days in jail and fined $400.[5] He was also charged with marijuana possession, after turning himself in, when authorities found marijuana in a pack of his cigarettes; he was fined an additional $250.

* In 2002, he pled guilty to animal cruelty for having 13 neglected pit bulls in his possession.[6]

* In June 2003, he was arrested for using indecent language during a performance at St Kitts and Nevis in the Caribbean. The country's Information Minister alleged that a contract signed before the concert stipulated the show would be without indecent language on stage. Simmons was released on bail ($376).[7]

* In June 2004, he was arrested at JFK Airport on charges of cocaine possession, criminal impersonation, criminal possession of a weapon, criminal mischief, menacing, and driving under the influence of drugs or alcohol while claiming to be a federal agent and attempting to carjack a vehicle.[8]

* In April 2005, Simmons was charged with driving with a suspended license after his involvement in a a three-car collision on the Major Deegan Expressway in the Bronx. The rapper hit a car, pushing it into a police cruiser.

* In May 2006, Simmons was arrested at a London airport for causing a disturbance after he refused to put on a seat belt and became abusive on a flight from New York to London. He was released with a caution.[9]

* In October 2006, Simmons was arrested in Boston after severely injuring 4 armed men just hours after Monster Jam. The charges were dropped after it was discovered he was acting in self defense.

* On February 2, 2007 he was arrested for driving on an expired license charge, and scheduled an appearance in a Yonkers courtroom on March 6, 2007 on that and other minor infractions.[10]

* On July 23, 2007 Simmons was stopped by police after trying to get away on an illegal motorbike without a license and drunk. Officers gave him a Section 15 warning and was scheduled to appear in court on August 1, 2007 for further questioning.[citation needed].

* On July 31, 2007 Simmons was stopped by police for driving an illegal motorbike and he has been reported for driving without a license and without insurance. A court date has not been set as of August 1, 2007[citation needed].

* On August 24, 2007 Acting upon an animal cruelty tip, Maricopa County Sheriff's deputies reported to having removed 12 emaciated pit bulls from Simmon's Cave Creek home. None of these dogs had access to food or water. Deputies also found the bodies of 3 dead dogs. Simmons was not at home when the raid occurred. Sources reported the deputies also removed a large cache of weapons in addition to drug paraphernalia and a large quantity of suspected drugs. At this time, DMX has not been charged with animal cruelty.[11]

* On May 7, 2008 Again Simmons was arrested by Arizona police after authorities viewed speed camera video of the rapper driving 114 miles per hour (183 km/h) on a local highway. He was charged with reckless driving, racing on a highway, three counts of criminal speed, two counts of endangerment, and driving with a suspended license. Authorities stated that Simmons was cooperative during the ordeal, and since then he has been released on bail with no court date set as yet.

* On May 9, 2008 Simmons was arrested for possession of drugs and weapons. Stemming from the August search of the rapper's home, the police searched his home twice, finding a number of mistreated pitbull puppies as well as a number of drugs and weapons. Police also claim the Simmons barricaded himself in his bedroom before giving himself up.

e diel, 11 maj 2008

yes. lets do get it on

I've been watching clips from Burt Sugarman's Midnight Special a lot the past couple days (yeah i still love old concert videos) and I discovered that I would fuck the fucking shit out of 70's era Marvin Gaye.






yo.

Weirdo Marc Bolan has some art school appeal that I can't help but want to get groupie on too.

Also, the blond chick from Heart can shred.