i took my first brazilian samba class tonight and it was fabulous, except for the first half an hour which involved embarrassing modern dance stretching to rap music. but after that, it was great. my teacher had a very suspicious wet spot in the middle of her crotch, but she was a dear sweet lady. the moment of realization came when she said to me "you're trying to show the crowd your box; you gotta pretend you have these awesome tight levis on and you're all look at my levis, look at my levis, 1 2 1 2, downbeat ass downbeat ass..." etc. i had it after that.
it was a lot of girls, most young some old, shaking their asses like whoa. and two males. one of them was probably there to look at girls' asses and i really admire him for shaking his in order to see ours. how humiliating for him. that's like peeping into the girls locker room while getting your ass cheeks taped closed. oh, 80s movies, what would i do without your invasive bullying and sexual perversion metaphors. AND i respect him cuz he happened to be behind me in our closing "class is over" conga line, and he went for the shoulders, not the waist (and then moved his way down til he was just cupping my ass cheeks, but at least he started high). i wonder what he's gonna do when we get our costumes: thongs, beads, bras, headresses and stilettos. then there was this big ole fat guy in an aloha shirt. so of course he's in front of me in the goddamn mirror. but it's okay. i migrated.
--dr. honey homunculous
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you should pour a glass of water on your crotch before you go into class and watch everyone stare. this will be awesome. youll do it bc youre awesome. that is why im doing you duh. -wifey
i had another dance class today and i saw the wet spot appear! bitch has crazy glands! wacky glands! wow i always thought wacky was spelled with an h like whacky. braz. samba is the bestest.
-a.
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