sexy right numbers

so i own this lingerie shop. our whole thing is that the store isn't all hot pink and marabou and we don't sell dildos and lube and shit. it's supposed to be a "classy" place to pick up some fancy panties or whatever. there are other places here that do that leather/fetish shit, we do not want or need to fill in the niche. anyway, one of the ads we run in one of those free weekly papers features a girl wearing this romper thing and she's got a little bit of side-boob showing. the side-boob is pretty hot, but in a nice tasteful way... or so i thought. apparently it's more of an invitation to masturbation. since we've opened we get, about once a week, phone calls from random men. sometimes they'll be pretty to-the-point. i'll answer the phone and they'll pause for a minute and then ask "h-hhh-hhhhhhhey... d-d-do you mmmmmind talking to me while i i i jerkoff?" and i'll chuckle and politely say "yeah, sorry. i mind" then sometimes they'll try to be a little more tricky and say "hello. i was wondering if you sold any [pause] g-g-g-girrrrrrdles?" (yeah, they almost always stutter) "uh, no. we don't. sorry" "what about st-st-stockings?" "haha-uh. well we have some knee highs" "can you descriiiiibe them to me?" "let's see. some of them are blue, and some of them are grey and we have other colors too. they're nylon socks.. what else can i say?" "CAN YOU PLEASE HELP ME?!? MY GIRLFRIEND IS [sob] FORCING ME TO WEAR GIRDLES AND STOCKINGS. GIRDLES AND STOCKINGS!!!" "that sucks dude." my favorite one, however, kept me on the phone for about 10 minutes sounding totally normal and kind of timid. he said was trying to find something for his new girlfriend and he was unsure of what would be appropriate to buy her etc etc and i was honestly trying to help him and then he goes "s-so, oh... how do i say this... this is rather odd. um. see. i want to buy this gift because i really want my lady friend to give me... ANAL. what would it take for YOU to give me ANAL? how about an ANAL VIDEO? do you LIKE THAT? do you want to see some ASS FUCKING? DO YOU?!" "well, actually, i think seeing someone else's stretched out gaping asshole would make me less inclined. good luck with that though"

oh man. it makes me laugh every time. my partner freaks the fuck out when it happens to her, but i kind of love it. it's entertaining as shit and it makes the day just a little more colorful.

men are so funny. i love men. hey guys, never change... but don't actually come INTO the store, that's not so funny. seriously, i know kung fu. that's right bitch, i know 7 ways to kill you with my bare hands, so DON'T FUCK WITH ME.

-girl 6