yet another reason to love dicks

i am giddy today . yes, i am giddy because last night i got kicked out of a dyke bar thus confirming my theory that lesbians and i are natural enemies. i sometimes hit a point in a night of drinking where i try my hardest to get kicked out of bars, mostly because i'm little and cute which makes it a pretty arduous task, plus it's just fun to know what i can get away with, but this time i wasn't even trying. dykes really just hate my ass for some reason. all i did was demand a sandwich that the fat ass bartender was refusing to serve me. why was i ordering sandwiches in a lesbian bar anyway? i don't know. i guess because i live in portland. anyway, is there something in pussy juice that, when ingested, makes girls too slow and stupid to manage getting a grilled cheese sandwich to someone in under an hour and a half? maybe this hooker was just too busy re-applying her drawn on mustache to be bothered with doing her job. i don't know. buy yay! so i finally got escorted out of somewhere- kind of... the funny thing, though, about lesbian bars is that there aren't any big scary bouncer dudes who work there, only girls. since i was with a bunch of men, all they could really do was stand there and ask us to leave over and over again while i kept responding 'fuck you. i want my money biiiiiitch'. (p.s. dykes do NOT like it when you call them bitches) the whole thing was ridiculous. ridiculously funny. the bartender eventually wadded up 5 dollars and threw them at me. and yeah, she totally threw like a GIRL. hahahahaha. oh shit. it was rich. real rich.
OH, i also jumped into a picture that this group of lesbo cholos (all non-hispanic- all with drawn on mustaches) were taking of themselves outside the bar. i will pay cash for a copy of this photo. seriously, i want it bad.
-creamy