Kevin's Birthday is July 3rd

kevin's birthday is coming up.
i want to surprise him. last year, i got him a present on my birthday, because it's really the more important of the two. i mean seriously. everyone's birthday is in june/july.
but this birthday i want to surprise him like this:


wow him definitely. but more sinisterly than he's ever been wowed before. get primitive. so for kevin's birthday, i'm going to take him to the dark side of love. by fashioning a set of undies out of this:



at first i thought, let's be cute and funny about it, and use this pelt:


but this is an important birthday, and i no longer believe cute is my destiny (thanks, michelle, for wizing me up). maybe at some point i'll use two of those suckers to make a bra fit for a nordic queen, but not out of love, no, not out of love.

and this july, love is on the menu. it's time kevin and i take our relationship to the next level. and nothing says i love you scarily like your girlfriend flying to the rain forest of columbia, trapping and skinning an animal, fashioning lingerie from the hide, flowers and chocolates. sometimes you just want to stick your dick in something nondescript, but not on your birthday. i think you know what i mean by that.
i think i can figure out how to accomplish it too. customs is going to be a bitch, but, hell i have the know-how and make-do, some time on my hands, an internet connection, a will to win, some hunting skill, a wicked set of leather and embroidery needles, and that's just how much i love my baby.
i know what boys like i know what boys want.

p.s. you slackers, post some crap. i miss my ladies.

-dr. honey