every morning i wake up and have a CLIFF BAR and a cup of coffee for breakfast. most of the varieties of CLIFF BARS are pretty good except for the carrot cake one, that one's nasty (do not send). after my champion breakfast i brush my teeth using AQUAFRESH EXTREME CLEAN WHITENING MINT EXPERIENCE and i wash my face with CLINIQUE RINSE OFF FOAMING CLEANSER MOUSSE although my skin isn't where i want it to be these days so i might switch to KEIHL'S GENTLE FOAMING FACIAL CLEANSER or something. i don't know, i'm open to other options if people want to send me stuff and i'll try it out and talk about it later. so then i put on some DOVE PROTECTIVE MOISTURIZING LOTION (with spf 15 please) and a little LANCOM DEFENCILS MASCARA, MAYBELLINE ULTRA BROW BRUSH ON COLOR, and any kind of EYEBROW GEL and that's about it. i like to wear ANNICK GOUTAL EAU DU CIEL these days. i have some odd obsession with ANNICK GOUTAL perfumes even though a lot of them are kind of 'meh', i don't know, i just like some of them. so, i wear LEVIS JEANS almost exclusively (size 0 or 1 please- i like 518s but i'm also into some of those premium jawns). anything else i wear is usually some stupid thrift store find (i'm not going to sit here and rattle off clothing designers, but if you send me something and i like it i will definitely wear the shit out of it) or whatever except my CLARK WALLABEES which are the most comfortable shoes i've ever worn in my life (size 5- the Chestnut colored ones area nice- i prefer the Oxford style). for lunch i often eat a GARDENBURGER PORTABELLA VEGGIE BURGER with some FIJI WATER and maybe a NEWMAN O or two. then it's off to do whatever all day until after 6, at which time i'll enjoy a MAKER'S MARK BOURBON with CANADA DRY GINGER ALE, or maybe a HERRADURA TEQUILA with GEROLSTEINER MINERAL WATER (or actually soda, but i really like that mineral water so fuck it), or else maybe a glass of wine (ANY WINE). i probably drink too much, but i can't help it, i'm shy and people seem to like me more when i'm acting like a jackass, so... it's a necessary thing. usually having a few drinks makes me want to light up a few CAMEL LIGHTS. the two just go hand in hand, you know? so then i'll head home and hop in the shower before bed. i like to use COTE BASTIDE VANILLA TEA CLEANSING GEL because it smells kind of warm and sleepy and it makes my skin soft. when i wash my hair i reach for the JOHNSON'S BABY SHAMPOO WITH NATURAL LAVENDER and finish up with PANTENE PRO-V ICE SHINE CONDITIONER. then i'll throw a little DOVE CURL AND SCULPT DEFINING MOUSSE and then go to bed on my TEMPUR-PEDIC MATTRESS.
the end (please contact my assistant to confirm my shipping address. thanks.)
-american cream team
13 komente:
you. whore.
if ANY WINE sends you samples, i want some. no wonder you need handouts, baby shampoo is expensive as shit. actually, so are all baby products. as if they were made of pure light.
and, youre a big girl, so you need four of everything they send, oh, five. you just got a little bigger.
all that stuff is pretty cheap, it's just what i use and i'm broke... i mean cool. and yes, lets have an ANY WINE date in northern california somewhere.
-c s lewis
what happened to the yes you do post? did i accidentally delete it? i hope not. that was funny.
-a.d.
the people at keihl's informed me that only kiehl's makes that cleanser and that i'm a retard who can't spell. then they forced me to take the yes you do post down
so you shower at night. drunk. weird.
really i shower whenever the mood strikes me, i just had to fit the bath products into my schpeel. but drunken showers sometimes happen. i'm functional like that.
Wait did I know we had the same mattress!? Did u really not tell me this when u know its my favorite topic!? Psh. -d.hux
no. i added the mattress on at the end because it's a million dollars and i want one.
are you still making payments on that bed?
no kev i paid it off!!! can you believe it?!?! i love that thing.
stunner
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